A few days ago I saw an old colleague of mine on my Instagram that I used to work and stay with when I was working in a public school in Sakarya, Turkey. We had shared some things while going to and coming back from school but not that much. You know! Daily things. How are you today? How was school today? I tell you how she was; she was always sleepy in the morning because she used to wake up 10, even 5, minutes before we got the service to the school. At the end of each day, she was happy because another working day had finished. Every day! Can you believe? I swear I am not adding any extra words to what she used to say…
Although we didn’t talk too much, I know that she wanted to marry her boyfriend asap, everyone knew at school because this is what she had been always talking about. About her dream wedding ceremony, her house design, what kind of organizations she would do when she married, websites for young couples and so on.
I do understand her and I do respect her choices but I had always wondered “What are you waiting for? I don’t understand why you just don’t marry him now?” Believe me or not. As you may see, I remember many details about her; however, I cannot tell you what her answer was before my questions because they were none or never clear enough. She was murmuring some things. It was about her father that he didn’t like him or his father was jealous of her something like that. I never could figure it out.
Another thing what we mostly talk, if you say mostly, how active I was. (If you call me active! I used to wake up early to get breakfast and meditate. I had dance course 2-3 days a week in the evening, and sometimes a night out with some friends. I was traveling as much as possible at the weekends, and going for some events to Istanbul.) She always envied what I had been doing. But when I invited her, she could never make it. You know why?
- She could be sleeping.
- She could be eating dessert and drinking Turkish tea with a close friend of her (This was their favorite activity.)
- She would be checking those websites about marriage life
- She didn’t like going out. (I could say she was a bit conservative.)
Please do not misunderstand me. Let’s make this clear. I have no problem what she was doing or enjoying with. It can be anything for anybody. Of course. I have nothing to do with that.
For me, the problem was complaining and doing nothing to change it.
- She was always talking and talking.
- Oh, I wish I could go with you.
- Oh, I always wanted to go to that book festival.
- I always wanted to travel Nevsehir.
My answer is “OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? PLEASE SHUT UP AND DO IT”
How come do I mention about her? Here is why. A few days ago, I saw her photo on Instagram. She shared her photo saying “I wouldn’t expect to engage this winter, either. But I did. Welcome to my life” (Not you, her boyfriend.)
She got engaged and I am really so happy for her. Finally, she did what she wanted although she didn’t expect it! So I sent her a message.
“Congratulations. You finally did it. I am so happy for you”
I really am; so she answered me.
“Oh, thank you so much. How are you? What time is it in Portugal? You really did what you said.”
What! I was really shocked by her message. You did what you said?
(By the way, when I was working in Turkey, I always said that I would go to Portugal to finish my MA but it seems some people didn’t think I would because such a job in public school is quite secure and well-paid in Turkey. There is a ‘legend’ that if you get that chair in a government school, literally translation from Turkish, you will never leave it again.
Actually, it is the main reason for many people working there and complaining about their life. Here it comes.
- How difficult working in a public school is.
- How unhappy they are.
But! There is a good butt. Sorry I mistyped it.
- It is secure
- Life longing job
- Good for especially women (because women mostly are required to do the housework in Turkey. Unfortunately still.)
When did we forget to keep our promises?
Since when has it been so easy to say “I wish”es?
I guarantee you I do not use “I wish”. I use “I will” because I know it is not about only wishing. It is working for it. And if you work hard for it and believe in yourself, the rest will come up easily and you will not even realize how soon it is.
It is that simple. I dare to say this.
Also, it is not only her. I mostly hear around from my friends;
- I want to travel but, it is expensive
- I don’t like my job, but, you know, it is secure.
- I love playing guitar but, you know, you must be really good to be famous.
- I want to write my blog. I have amazing ideas. (I know she absolutely has.), but I don’t have time.
- I don’t like my country (He means Portugal.). The economy is not good here, but!
Damn! You live here.
Manage your time better.
Hitchhike. Do camping.
Look for a job that you appeals to you.
Play guitar and promote your art.
I don’t understand and I will never. Is it so difficult to work more for your own life? Doesn’t it hurt you somewhere inside when you say “I wish”? It used to heart me a long time ago when I was ignorant. Not anymore. I think it is pathetic to wish and not to work for it.
Please again. Do not misunderstand me. Wishing is beautiful. Everything starts with wishes. It is necessary. But the next step is going for it. Doing something for it. Not like my dear friend, eating dessert with Turkish tea and wishing to dance while sitting in her bed!
I do wish you go for your dreams and I am writing this blog because this is what I can at least do for those of you whom maybe need a fire.
Meanwhile, I will be working more on my dreams.
Until then, take care.
Mervé Ercin Miguel